John 11.1-16

I recently made a commitment to read through the second half of the book of John with a friend. We are using N.T. Wright’s ‘For Everyone’ series as a guide. The idea is to deal with a chapter or so each time we meet together. I’ve been excited about it. This week has been my first week to engage with this portion of the scriptures and the material. It has been a blessing. I thought I’d put a few of my cursory thoughts up on here.

John 11.1-16

We are starting with John 11. It’s the story of the death and raising of Lazarus. This story has always been intriguing to me from the standpoint that Lazarus was one of the few people to have to die twice. Poor guy. But aside from that, it’s a marvelous foreshadowing of Jesus’ own resurrection. It really fits perfectly within the book of John.

One of the more dramatic elements of the first 16 verses of this chapter is Jesus’ IN-action. He learns about Lazarus’ plight, but doesn’t leave right away to ‘save the day.’ As N.T. Wright puts it… it’s a reminder that ‘his timing is not our timing.’ It’s actually something I’ve been working through in my own life recently.

I started working at my current church in 2007. It was my first ever Lead pastor position… so there was (and continues to be) a lot of on the fly, on the job learning. It seems that there was the expectation that this church would just start to take off because of my arrival. Truth be told, I was hoping this church would take off as well.

Four years later, and we are just now starting to get some traction. We are just now starting to see some things pay off. And it’s not huge gains yet, we are up about 5% from where we were last year. Last year was the worst, though. We ended up taking the first attendance loss since I’ve been here. It was really discouraging and led me to ask some unhealthy questions. Maybe I’m not the right one for this position. Maybe this church needs a different type of leader. Maybe I can’t grow a church.

I heard a sermon recently where the preacher made the comment: ‘Everything in the middle can seem like failure.’ It was a moving reminder to me that it’s easy to get discouraged in the middle of the story. I’ve found that it’s easy for people in churches to get discouraged in the middle of the story. That sometimes we need to wait for God’s perfect timing. Sometimes it seems like he arrived too late. But that would be because our vision is blurred or insufficient.

This passage urged me to trust in God’s timing. Not my own. Not in someone else’s timing. God’s timing. This passage also served as a reminder to continue to trust in Him with the ‘middle of my story.’ In those times when everything looks like failure… to continue to obey and trust that God will work and move in His own time and in His own way…

Introverts in the Church - 3

“Living as an introvert in a society and a church that exalts extroversion takes its toll, and shame cuts deep into introverted psyches that are bent toward self-examination.”

This chapter is all about healing. And there can’t be healing without inflicted wounds. McHugh spends the first portion of the chapter dealing with the reality that many who are naturally introverted have felt put off or belittled by others in one form or another. In fact, he states that 49 out of the 50 introverts he interviewed for the book had felt ‘maligned’ for their introversion in one form or another.

One particularly striking statement McHugh says that ‘While extroverts commonly feel loneliness when others are absent, introverts can feel most lonely when others are present, because ours is the aching loneliness of not being known or understood.’ McHugh gives example after example of introverts being wounded by those who misunderstand them: An introverted daughter being pushed by an extroverted mother to become more normal; An extroverted school teacher absolutely destroying an introverted student because he couldn’t answer questions quickly enough for her...

I’ve been wounded in the past as well. I remember my second grade teacher was not very understanding of this. I remember being a little slower to learn/process things in those grades… and I remember that I worked slower than other kids… and I don’t remember it to be because of laziness. Maybe it was because I was trying to be careful to be right… but I worked slower. I remember this teacher forcing me to stay in and finish work during recess. I also remember one day walking into class to see my desk overturned in the middle of the room with all of my stuff in one big pile and she insisted that I needed to find a worksheet that I had not turned in. It was humiliating and frustrating.

McHugh says something important in response to these examples: ‘Finding healing as an introvert will not entail freedom from these characteristics. Healing for us will involve a new way of interpreting our natural personality traits.’ In other words… find out and embrace who you are… and don’t let other’s define who you should or should not be. However, he cautions that we are careful to diagnose introverted patterns wisely. There are some things we do that go too far… there are times when we retreat too much from others… and it actually develops into more unhealthy patterns.

McHugh suggests that while introverts may find some healing by a ‘journey inward’ toward accepting who we are and how we tick… he believes (and I agree) that we won’t find total healing until “we respond to and welcome the indwelling presence of the Creator God who ‘formed my inward parts.’” The great irony for Christian introverts is that ‘our ultimate identity is never found in aloneness, but it is found in relationship to another.’ So in the midst of our introversion… we belong to, should be shaped by, and hopefully can find healing in the midst of a greater community.

While this is not my favorite chapter in the book, I suspect that it can be very powerful to those who approach the book with deep wounds in their past from people who were ignorant to the particular nuances, needs and gifts of a introverted person.

In my next post, I’ll try to summarize and respond to chapter four of McHugh’s book which is entitled: ‘Introverted Spirituality.’

2009 Reading List

I was able to finish a few more books this year than last year. It helped that Star Wars was better this year. As always, here's my disclaimer: This list only represents the books that I actually finished. This would be a far greater list if I retold all the books that I started, parts of commentaries that looked through, or early church reading that I accomplished. Okay, here it goes:

Professional Reading

1. The Secret Blend (Stan Toler) 180 Pages
2. The Making of a Leader (Robert Clinton) 272 Pages
3. Passion, Power and Purpose (Various) 207 Pages
4. Life Together (Dietrich Bonhoeffer) 122 Pages
5. The Spirit of Early Christian Thought (Robert Louis Wilken) 368 Pages
6. Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference? (Philip Yancey) 351 Pages
7. Practical Guide to Solo Ministry (Stan Toler) 192 Pages
8. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team (Len Lencioni) 229 Pages
9. Serve God, Save the Planet (J. Matthew Sleeth) 225 Pages
10. Common Ground (Keith Drury) 187 Pages
11. Treasure the Word (Joseph Coleson) 201 Pages
12. The Orthodox Way (Kallistos Ware) 164 Pages
13. The Last Word (N.T. Wright) 146 Pages
14. Simply Christian (N.T. Wright) 240 Pages
15. The History of Christian Thought (Jonathan Hill) 352 Pages
16. Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger (Ron Sider) 335 Pages
17. Leading on Empty (Wayne Cordeiro) 215 Pages
18. 3 Colors of Your Spirituality (Christian Schwarz) 192 Pages

Personal Reading

1. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (Sean Williams) 319 Pages
2. The Copper Scroll (Joel Rosenberg) 368 Pages
3. Star Wars: Revelation (Karen Traviss) 410 Pages
4. Extreme Measures (Vince Flynn) 430 Pages
5. Star Wars: Invincible (Troy Denning) 299 Pages
6. The Associate (John Grisham) 373 Pages
7. Star Wars: Millennium Falcon (James Luceno) 317 Pages
8. Black Order (James Rollins) 426 Pages
9. Star Wars: Outcast (Aaron Allston) 302 Pages
10. Playing For Pizza (John Grisham) 262 Pages
11. Star Wars: Omen (Christie Golden) 236 Pages
12. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) 281 Pages
13. Star Wars: Abyss (Troy Denning) 332 Pages
14. Open (Andre Agassi) 388 Pages
15. Star Wars: Precipice (Ebook – John Jackson Miller) 35 Pages
16. The Romanov Prophecy (Steve Berry) 387 Pages


34 Books 9343 Total Pages


Top Three Professional
1. A History of Christian Thought - I received this book many years ago and have slowly plugged my way through it... not because it was uninteresting... but because I was enjoying it so much. This single book gave me a passion to know and understand how the theology of Christianity has been developed through the years.
2. The Spirit of Early Christian Thought - My one/two punch should tell you where my interest has been recently... the exploration of Church history through the time of Augustine has been fascinating to me. This is a great book exploring the worship patterns, poetry and theology of the very early church. Well written.
3. Three Colors of Your Spirituality - This was a very interesting book that I just finished under the 2009 buzzer. The premise is that there are many different antennas that God 'broadcasts' on and each of us have a primary way of connecting with God. (The author gives nine options.) I found out that I connect with God best through the 'Sacramental' style... and might be more at home within an Eastern Orthodox worship service than even my own Wesleyan denomination. (No, I'm not switching...) I think this would be a book that could benefit many congregations.

Top Three Personal
1. Open - This autobiography by Andre Agassi was the best book I read all year. Agassi's various inner battles are disclosed. There were moments when I laughed out loud and there were moments when I was deeply moved. It's just a great story about a guy who was forced to play a sport and had to overcome himself in order to succeed in that sport.
2. Pride and Prejudice - Very good book. Grew to care about the characters and loved the witty dialogue. Never, in a million years, did I think this book would make my top two last January 1.
3. Star Wars: Millennium Falcon - Great 'mystery' story that explores the beginnings of this iconic ship from the classic Star Wars films.