Jealousy In Ministry

I admit it. I have a tendency to get jealous of other pastors. Mostly, I get jealous of those guys I went to school with… because I got to know about their character… got to see how they interacted with other people and professors… got to see what they were made of… got to see how seriously they took classes and practicums. There were some guys who I thought didn’t have enough integrity to get hired by a crime lord, let alone get hired by a church. There were some guys who I knew would treat the ministry, and people, and the church as a joke. Or worse yet, as a spring board for personal fame.

And then for some reason, they get hired at a big church, or they get asked to write curriculum, or they are asked to speak… etc, etc, etc. In the deep, dark recesses of my heart: I have to admit that I hoped they wouldn’t do as well as their employers thought they would. I hoped their character would be shown for what it was… I hoped they would be ineffective in ministry.

God has started changing my attitude, but it is a work in progress. I still get mad when I hear about one of these guys leaving their fourth church in eight years to go plant a church. I still feel frustrated to see some of these people asked to write an article for headquarters when they aren’t even good writers. I get really frustrated to see some of these guys get a speaking engagement, just because they have ‘connections’ or because they come from a larger church and surely anyone that comes from a larger church must be good.

It was when I was reading the first chapter of Philippians that I felt God tapping me on the shoulder: “It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.” (Philippians 1:15-18)

It doesn’t matter what kind of motives you have… if you are preaching Christ… eternity can be influenced. Don’t get me wrong: Character matters. Motives matter. God cares about those things. But who’s character and motives should I be examining? MINE! When I start getting angry about who is getting what positions and opportunities… I begin to miss out on the greater picture:

First, if I have this attitude… am I any better suited for these opportunities? NO.
Second, am I really trusting that God knows what is best for His church? NO.
Third, am I trusting that God can change hearts, motives, character, and attitudes? NO.
Fourth, if I am spend my time worrying about these types of things… am I paying enough attention to the ministry that God has entrusted me with? PROBABLY NOT.

God has gently nudged me to concentrate on being the best pastor, husband, father, and friend that I can be. I can’t worry about the other guys. I need to let God do that. It’s not my business anyway. He is challenging me to focus on MY situation and ministry. If I’m too busy worrying about the opportunities that I THINK I SHOULD HAVE gotten, I’ll miss out on the opportunities that I HAVE BEEN given. Valuable opportunities that God gives to each person to bring them exactly the type of lessons they need to learn and to fulfill them in exactly the type of way that will bring the greatest joy. It really comes down to a trust issue. Do I trust that God knows what He’s doing? Can I accept His will and plan for my life, even if it means not having the opportunities that other guys get? I hope that I can. I pray that I can…