It's the End of the World As I Know It

It seems like God works in my life in different ways throughout different seasons. For instance, there have been seasons in my life where I feel like I am learning tons about ministry and theology and scripture. It's in these times that I feel God expanding my horizens and my thinking.

There are other seasons where I feel like ministry is clicking. I might not be learning anything particular in these seasons, but God takes all that I've learned in previous seasons and everything just seems to click. I think my final year in Kalamazoo was like this for me. Parts of my second and third years here in St. Peters were like that as well.

Then there's the season that I am in right now. It's refreshing and challenging all at the same time. It's a season where God is placing His Spirit in certain places of my life and asking me to change. It's a season of personal application... of taking a good long look at who I am compared to who He wants me to be. Like I said, it scary and it's sobering. Here are some things that I've realized recently:

1) No matter how bad or depressing or disappointing I think my life is... there are millions out there that have it much worse off than I do. There are people who have endured much more heartache and suffering than I ever have. There are some people who have endured more stress and heartache in the last week than I have my entire life. So I should stop feeling sorry about myself and start concentrating on the things that I DO have...

2) I’m a really terrible pastor when I am not leaning on the power of God.

3) I need to take more risks in ministry. Starting with speaking my mind a little more; thinking outside the box more; being willing to change methods in order to be a more effective pastor.

4) I need to be more willing to learn from my peers. There are people that are much younger than me and have a greater vision for what ministry could look like in our age. There are good people of all ages that I can learn from. I just need to put myself in a position to network with them. I am a terrible networker. I need to do better in this area.

5) I need to be more desperate in my search for God’s anointing and power in my life. I think I take Him for granted too often. I need to spend more time seeking His face and direction. Even in times of great struggle in ministry, I don’t have a sense of desperation to cling to him. I want my life to model that great worship song, ‘Breathe.’ That I would find God even more important as the air that I breathe.

6) There are people in my life that are hard to love. There are people in my life that find it hard to love me. I irritate some people. Some people irritate me. I need to do a better job of continuing to reach out and relate to those people, even if I don’t feel any sort of personality attraction to them.

God has brought me to an uncomfortable place in my life… and I am thankful for it. He has made me uncomfortable in places that I have felt comfortable for too long now… but they are places that need to change. Challenging? Yes. Change is never easy, especially when you face up to the fact that you have been blowing it for awhile. Encouraging? Yes. It reminds me of a God who loves me enough to invest in me. It reminds me of a God who wants to mold me into a better man than I currently am…

P.S. My wife didn't get the title... she was expecting a suicidal post or something. The title just means that it's the end of world as I know it because God is making changes in my mindset and habits... Okay, maybe it's a stretch... but I really like the song and wanted to steal the title.