“So much of me wants to be lost in my grand ideas and reflections, away from the noise and urgency of other people, but I cannot escape the fact that growth invariably involves the messiness of genuine human contact and the struggles of intimacy.” (Adam McHugh)
I can relate to the above sentiment. I am constantly learning to adjust to this reality of being a lead pastor. There are some weeks when the mess of relationships just continues to pile on. Last week alone, for instance, was a week where I just wish I could have hide in a cave for the entire week. I just kept getting little points of feedback… not all of it very constructive, unfortunately. Some about the worship service, some about children’s curriculum, some about men’s ministry, some about the women’s ministry, some about mission’s giving, some about why people would show up to a ping pong event and not a prayer meeting.
That’s not counting the people who are legitimately hurting right now. People who are struggling to get by financially, people who are dealing with the loss of a loved one, people who are dealing with medical surgeries and recovery. The emotional toll of lead ministry was higher than I ever expected. And yet, I am called to be the pastor of a congregation of people. Even more so, I am called to be IN the fellowship of the church. Pastor or not… I belong to this imperfect body of people called the church.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer says this: “If you scorn the fellowship of the brethren, you reject the call of Jesus Christ, and thus your solitude can only be hurtful to you.” This is a good reminder for an introvert. There is something God created me to bring to the fellowship of believers and there is something that I gain… only by connecting into the fellowship of believers.
McHugh goes on in this chapter to detail how community is emphasized in scripture. The majority of the scriptures were written to a group of people… the nation of Israel or to the Early Church of Jesus Christ. God’s plan for the redemption of the world is played out in the context of community. And when we read the ‘new creation’ passages that point to an unknown future… it is always set in a community context… with the gathering of all the believers to live in this new reality.
Community is important… so as an introvert… I must figure out how to appropriately fit into it. As an introverted pastor, I must figure out how to adequately leverage my gifts and my personality make-up to be as effective as possible. And in those times when the emotional drain is heavy… I must figure out ways to move forward with strength and integrity… but at the same time, to figure out ways to protect myself from becoming disillusioned and burnt out.
In post 5.2, I’ll look at the list of practical suggestions that McHugh gives for an introvert to connect effectively into a community context.
2 comments:
I hear ya, brother!
That's something I think many of us struggle with. It takes everyone! The extroverts and the introverts! The best part is, ALL of us were made in HIS image.
:)
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