A good Utility Player...

I was recently thinking about my gift package and I came to a realization about myself:

I am very much like a good utility player in baseball: A good utility player can play several positions, and can hit a little; BUT he doesn’t hit well enough and he doesn’t play any one position well enough to get hired as a starter. Here’s what I mean concerning my own gift package:

Gift: I can sing and I love to lead worship: Problem: I would never get hired as a full-time Worship Arts Pastor because I can’t read music, I don’t play an instrument, I can’t really help musicians get better at playing their instruments, and I couldn’t put together big musical productions that are so popular in the church.

Gift: I am approachable. Most people sense that I am trustworthy and sensitive: Problem: I am not a people magnet. It takes all the courage I can muster to meet new people on my own. I am better at developing close long term relationships with people… but that takes time. I am recharged by spending time alone or with immediate family… I am drained around mostly anyone else.

Gift: I’ve noticed that I can relate to most kids and I’m authentic enough that most teenagers feel comfortable around me. Problem: I have a really hard time teaching kids and teenagers. I don’t know why. In Kalamazoo, I could hang out with the students for hours… but as soon as it was time to start teaching… I froze up. I felt like I came off dry and stiff and irrelevant. Weird, huh? It gets weirder, though.

Gift: I’ve been told that I am a decent preacher. Problem: I’ve found that I am only effective when preaching to adults. I’ve also found that older adults love my preaching (unless they are just being nice); but I have a harder time connecting my preaching to the younger crowd. However, when I am just hanging out… it’s easier for me to build relationships with the younger crowd than it is for me to build relationships with the older crowd.

Gift: I had success recently as a Sunday School teacher. I have found that I enjoy researching topics and putting together lessons that help people better understand a difficult topic. Problem: The only type of teacher I’ll ever be is a Sunday School teacher. I’ve thought about how much I would enjoy being a college teacher… ministry classes… bible classes… that sort of thing: but that means I would need to probably finish getting a graduate degree and a doctorate. This might change, but I am not interested in that pursuing ANY degree of ANY kind at this stage of my life, for a host of reasons…

Gift: I’ve been told that I am a good writer. Problem: The only writings of mine that will ever get published are my self-published blog posts: Mostly because I struggle with Attention Deficit Disorder when it comes to writing. I can’t even fathom writing a book of even 150 pages on one particular topic. I have a hard enough time writing about one particular thing for just ONE page on Microsoft Word. I also struggle with academic writing… mostly because I am made to feel that I need to include big, intellectual words. I have an ok vocabulary… but I when I write, I want it to be simple and understandable. One other problem… I am not an original thinker. I like reading what other people think and then deciding if I agree with them or not. I am decent, however, at breaking down complex thoughts into smaller more easily digested pieces.

Gift: I am organized and get detail work done well. Problem: I love detail work… but it can get boring in a hurry if that is all I am doing. I would never want a job where all I am doing is administrative work. (I like how my job is set up now… I do a lot of administrative stuff… but it’s mixed in with hanging out with kids on Wednesday… mixed in with teaching adults on Sunday… mixed in with about four or five other ministries…)

I’ve decided that I do a variety of things decently…. but I don’t do any of those things like an All-Star. In other-words: In Cardinal lingo… I’m like a John Mabry… I hit decent and play a variety of positions well… but I’m not an Albert Pujols at any one thing.

I was reading a book about a year ago called ‘Good to Great.’ Without giving a full book review, there was a concept in there called the ‘Hedgehog Principle.’ Basically, the author asked businesses and leaders to identify the one thing that they could do as good as anybody else… and then be willing to pour money, resources, time, and talent into that one thing. He nick-named that ‘one thing’ as a hedgehog. (Book explains it better)

Maybe my personal hedgehog is versatility. I can be an asset to a church or organization because I can do a variety of things in a variety of different ways. I guess I’ve just been thinking lately about how curious I am about how God plans on using me in the future. There are a few people that insist I will be a lead pastor someday. Maybe. (In the next month I will be posting an article about why I don’t want to be a lead pastor… it might give you a clue as to how I feel about the whole issue.)

Anyway… don’t know why I shared all this. I guess it’s more of a personal reflection post… and maybe not worth posting on here… who knows?

Go Cardinals!

Last Saturday, we took Emily to her first ballgame since she was about four months old. It was a hot day... but she really seemed to enjoy herself. We had spectacular seats too.

This picture was taken during the 7th inning stretch... and both of us are singing 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame.' It was pretty fun!

Those stinkin' Democrats...

Another way that I've changed as a christian... Political ideology:

I grew up thinking that all Christians ought to be Republicans. I also grew up thinking that all Democrats were going to hell. Some of the hottest places in hell, in fact. Somehow, somewhere along the way… I associated political ideology with spiritual truth… as if they went hand in hand. God would certainly bless those people who believed that tax cuts were good… and He would curse those who believed that raising taxes is the answer.

I think it was sometime between the 2000 and 2004 elections that my attitude and mind-set began to change. Mind you, I am still a Republican. Conservative politics resonate with my personal sense of logic. I agree with Republican ideology much more than I do with Democratic ideology...

I think the change in my mind can be best encapsulated by telling a story from this past election. I remember walking into the church kitchen to grab myself ten or so doughnuts for breakfast on a Sunday morning between services. Unfortunately, I walked right into a conversation that caused me to stop and think. One guy said to the other guy: ‘I don’t think you can be a Christian and NOT be a Republican.’

Wow. Now that is a bold statement. So, I wanted to ask him, are you saying that God is more concerned with a person’s political ideology in one particular nation during one particular season in history than whether that same person has been washed in the blood of Jesus?

During election season, I saw countless pamphlets that asked the question: Who would Jesus have voted for? Well, he was a Jew in an Israel that was ruled by the Romans… I don’t think he was particularly interested in voting back then. Besides which, he rarely talked about Rome or politics… as recorded in the gospels, which I assume contained the most vital teachings of Jesus. I just don’t get the sense that the most important thing on God’s mind is who wins the American election every four years. I’m not trying to offend anyone. I do think God cares about the state of our country… but from everything that I’ve read, I sense that God is more concerned about the state of individual’s souls. It seems like He looks to His church to create change in culture… and NOT by protesting and holding up signs that say: God hates fags or displaying large pictures of aborted babies... Just my humble opinion.

I think it was my lead pastor, Steve Colaw, who said something that I find to be so true (and kind of funny): If you have to be a Republican to be a Christian… then even Jesus wasn’t a Christian. Same thing goes for the early church and the disciples.

Recently, though... I've noticed that it's a fad for the more 'intelligent' or 'enlightened' Christians to point out to us Republican Christians that we've been deceived by the Republican party and that we should jump ship as fast as we can. I've recently been made to feel that I might somehow be less of an intelligent Christian because I vote Republican most of the time. The madness never ends.

This is another area in which I have changed. Though I will probably vote Republican for the rest of my life… I will never assume that people who call themselves Democrats and Christians at the same time somehow love God less than I do. I will also never assume that God can’t use them to redeem culture or make a difference for His kingdom. I don’t agree with the Democrats much… but if I can find a few that agree with me about Jesus Christ being the Lord and Savior… and that Jesus alone is the answer to redeeming a fallen culture... that’s all I would need. I’ll let God sort out the rest…

More Summer Pictures

Here is one of Melissa and I on the beach in San Diego...



Emily is having fun at a SeaWorld play area...


Uncle Jeff buried Emily in the sand...


Emily likes dressing up in her little fairy costume... notice what's on the front of her shirt... yep, folks, that there is a Cardinals shirt.


Emily on (what seemed like) the only ride she really liked at Disneyland...

Why I Write...

I was just thinking recently about this whole blogging phenomenon… and about how much I have enjoyed doing it. I have really eaten it up. I have been writing on this blog for about ten months now. My goal when I started was to produce one new post a week. Since beginning last October, I think I’ve only missed three weeks. Two weeks ago, I actually posted twice, believe it or not. This week might be the same… we’ll see.

You know what’s been neat? Since I’ve been taking the time to consistently write… I find that I become more aware of the things I would like to write about. I’m not sure if this will make sense to you or not, but, I am more ‘aware’ of what’s happening around me in the hopes that I can learn and write about it… I don’t remember being this way before. This is probably how most Lead Pastors are when they have to come up with one or two sermons each week… their senses are more conditioned to take details in… just in case they can use a life situation as an illustration.

I haven’t been in that kind of a position before. In Kalamazoo, I was able to preach about once a month or so. Here in St. Peters, it is much less than that. (we don’t have a Sunday evening service) Since last September, I have only preached once at this church… and only three times total, so I haven’t needed to have a ‘writers’ mindset. Keeping up with this blog helps me to have that mindset… which I appreciate.

I was talking to my friend, Krista Bruder, on AIM two weeks ago. She asked a really good question about whether or not I get sermon ideas from blogging. I had to respond to her that I didn’t get many chances to preach, so no… I haven’t been able to pull things from these writings to put into my sermons yet. (Though, that is an excellent idea for the future… possibly… there are a few stories that I’ve recalled from the past that I could insert as illustrations.)

Krista’s question got me wondering about something else: Why do I write? And how do I choose what I write? I think the best answer is this: I write about things that ‘move me’ emotionally… and challenge me intellectually. I like to write about things that bring me great joy: God, my family, my profession, my passions, my memories…etc. I actually like to write about things that make me angry… it just so happens to be therapeutic for me. I’ve got a whopper of an idea for a future post that I think I will entitle: Will There Be Annoying People in Heaven? Don’t worry, it won’t be near as bad as it sounds. I like to write about things I’m scared of… don’t know why, I guess I find it helpful for some reason. I like to write about experiences that were meaningful to me: Just recently, I was able to be a part of a 50th wedding anniversary where the couple renewed their vows… I want to write about how I felt during the ceremony… how challenged and encouraged I was to see an example of how God intended marriage to work. I like to write about things that make me think… books, sermons, ideas, politics, other blogs, etc. I like to write about things that make me laugh. I like to write about things that force me to look at the world differently… and yes, I like to write about Star Wars, U2, Nintendo, and the Cardinals. I do sincerely apologize for that… I know my wife calls me a big nerd anytime I choose to dive into one of those topics. Especially Star Wars.

I’ve noticed that every blog I’ve visited offers something different: Some bloggers choose to write about theological and intellectual truths. Some bloggers choose to write about personal thoughts… almost like a public diary. Some bloggers choose to write about their travels and experiences. I absolutely love the variety found there…

But I’ve often wondered, while writing in my own blog… is this what actually goes in a blog? For instance… one week I might be talking about my experience as a pastor… one week I might be talking about my experience as a father… one week I might be talking about my experiences as a Star Wars fan. I’ve wondered if it’s good blogging etiquette to have one general theme in each blog… or if it’s ok to do what I do: Kind of a shotgun blog… you’ll never know where the next post is going…

I guess I’ve decided that I don’t really care about etiquette. (Hey, I really don’t care much for etiquette anywhere else… why should I worry much about it on my own blog?) I’ve decided that I’ll write about the things that matter to me. I’m not a one dimensional person… I wear plenty of different labels and hats… and I can learn and grow in each area of life. So I shouldn’t be embarrassed to write about theology and my family in the same blog… right? I shouldn’t be reluctant to write about my fears, joys, and yes even my torked off moments… right? I shouldn’t be ashamed to write about my experiences as a Star Wars fan in my blog… well… er… hmmm… maybe I SHOULD be ashamed of that one…

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

I just wanted to share a few pictures with you from last Thursday night.

My dad and I went to a Cards game together. I arranged to get some very good seats (2nd row from the field, one section to the left of the visitor's dugout... almost looking right at third base.

Anyway... I decided to not be completely honest with dad about the location of the seats. I told him we were up in the upper deck... noisebleeds. I kept the tickets hidden from him until we got through the gate... then I turned, handed him the tickets, and told him to navigate us to our seats.

He looked at the tickets briefly, put them in his chest pocket, and told me that he needed to go to the bathroom first. Hehe. We took about three steps, then dad stopped in his tracks... reached into his chest pocket... took out one of the tickets with a weird look on his face and scanned down the ticket until his eyes confirmed to his mind what he thought he saw the first time he looked at the tickets: The seats were much, much closer than I had let on. MUCH closer. Haha. He said later that he had never been that close to the field before.

I think he was very happy with the surprise. Cards lost... but I don't think it mattered to Dad. He seemed to really enjoy the game. We had foul balls flying all around us. Jose Oquendo actually waved to some people in our section... it was wild. Anyway... both these pics are from our seats... just to give you an idea of how close we were!

Back to the Future

In high school, during my Senior year, I took a speech class with Sue Wignall at good ole’ Moline High School. It was the scariest thing I had done up till that point. I just recently ran across one of the speeches I gave and I found it interesting to read. I thought I’d share... It was called our ‘Ten Year Projection Speech’ and it was basically, me, as a 17 year old… projecting where I would be when I was 27. The reason this was so interesting to me now is because it has officially been 10 years since graduation and I am currently 27. Here’s the speech:

“The year would be 2005 and I’m about 27 years old. If I’m lucky, I’ll find a wife who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. I’ll be able to talk with my wife about whatever is on my mind. I’ll trust her completely. We’ve been married for about five years. We’re working on our second child, which will be a girl. Our first child is a three year old boy. He’s a chip off the old block, I tell ya, he’s almost set our dog on fire three times. Last week, I had to sit him down and tell him that the dog is one of the good guys and that he should try and get the next door neighbor’s cat that always gets into our garbage. Speaking of the dog, the poor thing, used to be a beautiful golden retriever, but now isn’t looking as nice with all those black singe marks from my boy playing with it.

We live in a small neighborhood, with plenty of kids to keep my son busy. It’s peaceful and that’s what we want. We live in a town which is smaller than Moline, but not too small. For a car, I’d like to have a teal grand-am, but if that’s asking for too much, I guess I’ll have to stick with my trusty 1987 maroon Ford Taurus.

My occupation is that of a religious background. I majored in Christian Ministries at Indiana Wesleyan and then I moved to this town to start work at the local Wesleyan church as a youth pastor or Christian counselor. My job doesn’t pay a whole lot, but it’s enough to pay the bills and feed the family. My wife works too and between her income and mine… we do just fine. We place our three year old son in an in-home day care that is just down the street from our house. So, it works out well.

Some people feel that money and power are the keys to happiness, and don’t get me wrong, those are nice bonuses to have. But for me, true happiness comes with having a family that loves me and that I love. My line of work will also give me happiness as I’ll be working with people. Caring for people and making a difference in a person’s life give me a feeling of success and satisfaction that I wouldn’t trade for money or power any day.”

I just thought it was interesting how close I came on certain details… like having a three year old. Like having a wife whom I can talk to about anything. Like having a dog. Like working on a second child. Like being in ministry. Like having a wife that works and putting our child in day-care.

It was also interesting to see which things were wrong: For instance, at this point in my life, I would never even consider being a Christian counselor. We live in an area that is much bigger than the Moline area… though we are in a pretty quiet neighborhood with a lot of kids around. I initially wanted my first child to be a boy… and I can’t even imagine that now… and I’m starting to wonder if I even want my second child to be a boy. I’ll probably change my mind when I have two teenager girls. Yikes!

It makes me wonder where I’ll be ten years from now… How many kids will we have? How will Emily be as a teenager? Will we still be in the St. Louis area? Will I still be a staff pastor? Will I still be into Star Wars, even though no new movies are due out? Some things are easier to predict now… other areas of life are much more elusive and harder to predict.

One thing I do see in all of this: God is faithful. He has orchestrated some really neat things in my life the past ten years… I can trust His motives and His plan. I look forward to seeing how God will work and direct during the next ten years of my life...

Music Never Got Saved...

I was just thinking recently about how I have changed as a Christ-follower over the course of my life… I had certain opinions as a high school and college student that have evolved and changed over the years. This will probably turn into a three or four parter...

The very first thing I think of when I reflect on how I’ve changed deals with my opinion on secular music: I remember, in high school, making fun of my Christian friends for listening to anything ‘secular.’ In fact, I remember very clearly watching a U2 video with my friend, Dusty Fecht, and making fun of Bono… making fun of the lyrics… even making fun of my friend, Dusty, who was clearly demented for watching this weird group perform.

It wasn’t really until college that I began to appreciate the fact that God could teach me lessons and truths… even from the ‘heathen side’ of the music industry. I daresay that God has revealed Himself to me more through the music of U2 then He ever did through Geoff Moore and the Distance or groups similar to them… (I’ll explain later) I remember encountering resistance when I initially started listening to various groups that didn’t sell their CD’s in the Family Bookstore.

I remember, when I was a Junior in college, being asked to turn off U2 while working the front desk at old Williams Hall at IWU, because a girl who was in the lobby had made a commitment to not listen to any secular music. It was then that I got a taste of my own ‘high school medicine.’ Christians who went out of their way to make other Christians feel bad or lesser because they hadn’t committed to the same standards of ‘holiness.’ Or worse yet, Christians who went out of their way to force other Christians to commit to their personal standards of ‘holiness.’

Here’s the thing that infuriated me most about that girl in the lobby that day: She was the one to make the commitment, right? Shouldn’t she have been the one to leave? Why punish everyone else for a commitment you made? When I fast for a day… I don’t force my family, or my co-workers, or ANYONE… to NOT eat as long as I’m not eating. I am not condemning her decision to make the commitment… that is honorable if it helps her become a better lover of God and people… but I was angry that she tried to force her commitment on ME.

Ok, I really got off on a rant about that. The main issue is that my take on music has changed drastically. Labels like ‘secular’ and ‘Christian’ really don’t mean much to me anymore. As Scott Schaeffer, worship pastor at my home church Heritage Wesleyan, said in his sermon about worship recently: “Music either honors God or it doesn’t honor God… but just a word: Music never got saved…” I loved that statement: Why do we call it ‘Christian’? It never got saved.

Mind you, there is plenty of garbage out there… plenty of it. There is good music with terribly offensive lyrics. We should avoid that. On the flip side, many of the ‘Christian’ groups are putting out music that isn’t very good, along with lyrics that aren’t even close to being thought-provoking…

I guess I’ve learned to look for the music that is authentic and thought-provoking. Some people might take offense if they heard the U2 song entitled ‘Wake Up, Dead Man.’ Here’s a sample for you:

Jesus, I'm waiting here, boss
I know you're looking out for us
But maybe your hands aren't free
Your father, he made the world in seven
He's in charge of Heaven
Will you put a word in for me

Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man

Jesus, were you just around the corner
Did you think to try and warn her
Or are you working on something new
Is there an order in all of this disorder
Is it like a tape recorder
Can we rewind it just once more

Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man

If I had heard this in high school… I would have flipped my lid. Now, I look at it and realize: This is how real people think. If you are in the midst of deep pain and hurt… an honest response is: God, where are you in all of this? Wake up! Hear me!

If you disagree with me… as a last resort, I would point you towards the Psalms: Check out Psalm 10:1 “Why, O Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” Or how about Psalm 22:1 “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?” Statements like this are riddled throughout the Psalms. I value the honesty found there. We should just admit that sometimes we have questions. There’s no shame in that. I’ve also found out something about God: Sometimes He answers our questions... sometimes He doesn’t… but he ALWAYS hears them… and He never shies away from them… there is no question that scares Him.

That’s just one example of how listening to ‘secular’ music has helped me understand a certain truth about God. I think some ‘Christian’ musicians would be scared to write honest lyrics like that… but that’s just my opinion. Anyway… my take on music has changed drastically since high school… and I’m really, really glad. I’m not sure how much I would have gleaned from only listening to certain cheesy ‘Christian’ lyrics that aren’t always honest, authentic, or even realistic…